I think I could probably write a book of all the weird things men do or love that make absolutely zero sense to me – farting under the covers, the attraction to girl-on-girl action, and naming body parts (just to name a few).
But what has continued to blow my mind more than anything over the last several years is why men feel the need to hoot and holler things to women on the street. Why do they think it’s socially acceptable to objectify and disrespect women in the guise of — what they think is a — compliment? I’ll be all hot and sweaty, with my hair pulled up in a ratty ponytail, minding my own business while walking the dog down the street… then I’ll feel the presence of a car slowing down beside me. I hear “Hey baby, where you headed?”, “Woot woot”, or perhaps even more puzzling is this sudden-breaking-out-into-a-song thing they love to do. I once ignored an obtrusive catcaller, and was called something along the lines of a “bitch” for doing so. I flipped the guy off. “You’re not immediately interested in me, you must be easy.” Love the logic there.
Has this EVER worked for men? Have there EVER been any successful relationships that have started from this sort of contact? Is there a woman out there that would respond to this with a “Oh hello! I really appreciated the way you so sweetly called out to me from your car. No, I wasn’t aware of how nice my ass looked today, so thanks for pointing it out! Would you like to get a drink?” Are there any statistics on this? If not, can we start keeping statistics on this? I feel like this is something we need to track.
For a middle-aged man to do this while driving alone (probably on his way to deliver his truckload of perishable goodies), is just downright weird. What is the freakin point? You know, I can almost understand or excuse this if it is done by a carload full of young men. Oh ha ha, it’s so funny… and they all laugh and exchange high-fives. To be fair, the cat calling (in my book) has gone done significantly during the past few years. My teenage years to early twenties were the worst. I guess being in a five-year relationship helped, since I rarely have to walk the streets alone nowadays. Not that I’m trying to justify this stuff, because I think it’s wrong. But I am starting to think that maybe it’s something primal…you know, whoever grunts the loudest gets the hottest cavewomen?
Primal or not, it would be awesome if men could control their urge to shout pleasantries while I’m PICKING UP DOG POOP.
“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She knows nothing of borders and cares nothing for rules or customs. ‘Time’ for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.”
Happy International Women’s Day
As a woman, it feels really good to know that a lot of men like you but it’s better to know that only a few will actually try to get your heart. I know. I’m kind of surprised by how some women get flattered and jittery whenever “some guy” shows interest. Uhm… no, thank you. Why? ‘Cause it only means that:
1. Men think too lowly of you that even those who are, let’s say… underachieved, think they can get you
2. Men think getting in your pants is as easy as you are
3. Everybody thinks you’re in their league
4. Men don’t see you as someone they should try — work harder to have
Actually, 1-4 have the same context. I just wanted to break it down for, erm, emphasis.
So women, please set standards. Too many men in and out of your life makes you look easy peasy. Especially in their eyes.
More often than not, people fall for the person who they say “fixed” them or the person who “put the pieces back together”. The first person who showed up to their doorstep when they were wallowing in heartache. Like all they want is to be saved. Like all they need is to be saved.
I was happy then, as I am now. I’ve been running on dirt for so long. So I want to tell you, all of you, that I don’t need fixing. I never needed any fixing. I’m not some puzzle that you have to figure out. I don’t need you to put me back together — I was never broken in the first place. I can manage myself, thank you.
Perhaps you can grasp from the title, that I, too, have hopped on the band wagon and read (or at least tried to) the over-sensationalized Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, I did, just to see why it has caused so much stir.
Bottomline? It’s pure rubbish. I just had to stop reading after seeing “He cocks his head to one side” for the fourth time in three chapters. I didn’t even bother trying to read further and get to the graphic part (which the book is all about). Now I wonder: Why is there such a hype over something this badly written? I am no writer, but I sure have read enough to differentiate a well-crafted piece of work from those that are not. I am aware of its origins as a fan fiction, but it should have had some more decent editing — if it had one at all. The vocabulary’s limited, the words and phrases are repetitive, and sentence structures are so poor my face still aches from all the face palms.
If you still aren’t convinced yet, let me share some terrible lines from the book:
- ▪️”His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something.”
- ▪️”He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string… what! And… a gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez.”
- ▪️”He’s my very own Christian Grey popsicle.”
- ▪️”Feel it baby.”
- ▪️”Grabbing it quickly, I squirt toothpaste on it and brush my teeth in double quick time. I feel so naughty. It’s such a thrill.”
- ▪️”The elevator whisks me with terminal velocity to the twentieth floor.”
- ▪️”Laters, baby.”
I have deduced that probably the reason the book is so popular is because it is specifically targeted at ignorant and/or functionally illiterate people whose opinions are easily swayed by others. They are demented with the inclination that it is a fine work of literature because they don’t usually read, which gives them no basis for comparison. I know that getting upset over the literary merit(or lack thereof) of Fifty Shades of Grey is strangely joining the band wagon too — apparently, it has received lots of bashing — but I cannot resist ranting. There are way more talented writers sinking their teeth into writing good stuff who deserve E.L. James’ sales.
I could not reiterate more how inexcusably bad this novel is — and it kills me to call it one. But until I publish a book that sells 125 million copies, I’m in no position to be snotty, am I? Makes one wonder why it ever made the bestseller’s list. Is this what humanity has come to?
If you are reading/read it AND enjoyed it, I assume that you are either an a) 50 year old bored housewife who’s having a crazed sexual fantasy; or b) a horny teenager exploring his/her sexuality for the first time. Otherwise, you and your brain deserve better than to be wasted on viral, irresponsibly written garbage. Trust me.
If you are in it for the smut, I say just go get yourself porn or just get laid instead, for Christ’s sake.
Every so often, thoughts like how some men can be so possessive of their partners, and how some women can be equally as needy cross my mind. About how some women just let their men (or vice versa) control their lives and isolate them from everything they used to do. Isn’t it just plain selfish? I have my own life too, thank you very much. If you are in a relationship, isn’t learning how to trust your partner the most elementary thing to do?
Another typical issue is security. Or the lack thereof. We all have our insecurities, and that is a fact. But there is no point in being paranoidly strict to your partner just because you feel the fear of losing him over someone every single time he goes out without you. Perhaps you’re doubting the future, or questioning why he is with you. What you need to do is realize that he is with you because he loves you. Trust him. Remember that trust between partners is one of the keys to a fulfilling relationship. And before building up that mutual trust, one very important thing you must do is to trust yourself, too. Trust yourself so you can trust you partner. And if you do lose him over someone or something else, then he’s not worth it. Plain and simple. Would you want to be stuck with someone only because he’s the only one, at the moment, who can fill your need to be needed? You are strong and independent. You don’t need a man to tell you what and what not to do. You will survive without a man. Keep that as a mindset. You aren’t inadequate, believe you me. You just have to find someone who doesn’t make you feel that you are. So, I’m telling you now, and I will tell you again if I have to: there will always be somebody.
Being in an unhealthy relationship is destructive. There is no need to stay if the both of you are just pulling each other down. You’ll go around in circles, and you will never have room for personal growth. Having and retaining your individuality is very crucial to a relationship’s course, so never try to change everything about your partner. You love him, therefore you accept him and all the eccentricities that come with him. Relationships are two-way. If you have any kind of doubts, that’s something you need to address somehow, not ignore. No matter what, though, you need to talk to your partner about it because it’s something you both need to work on because being partners means you are a team, no matter what.
Or you could just stay or be single. It’ll save you the drama.
Who doesn’t? Does that make me a bad person? Why am I asking this, you ask? I had a bit of an issue about this and the thought bugged me and kept me up the whole night. Anyway, it was because of me and some new-found friends on several different nights out. I know for a fact that there’s nothing wrong with drinking and stuff but I got a comment from Fei which really hit me hard. I admit that I haven’t been really open about that side and that I don’t always talk to her about it. It’s just that I know she isn’t interested. The thing is, ever since I worked, I met many different people, and all of them are wonderful. I met people I can relate to with music, arts, the web and people who have the same interests as I do. Particularly group of friends I hang out with at parties and nights out. The ladies with makeup on, the ladies with their hair done, the ladies wearing micro-mini’s, the ladies always wearing high heels, and the ladies always drinking and smoking. I hang out with people like them, and I’m having a good time every time I do. I think she sees it in a different picture. I love partying, clubbing, and drinking. I love the night life. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a bad person. Or I’m a bitch. Or that I’ve changed. It’s just me. Well not the usual me, but the occasional me. And guess what? I love being that me. Do I think it’s cool? Yes! And I think it is because I love it, not because I was influenced. Being a party-goer will not take away who I really am. I am still the me my real friends have known. It’s just that they’re not interested with this particular stuff as much as I am. And now that I’ve met more people who loves the night life, why shouldn’t I hang out with them?
Anyway, what Fei told me lightened me up. It felt good when she actually scolded me. I made a realization last night: There’s this one person on this Earth that still knows me inside and out and better than anyone. I love her.
No more nights out? Definitely not. But no more of the stuff that’ll make me look like I’m a bitch. ‘Cause everybody knows I’m not.
This is a retrieved post. Reposted: 04 Dec 2013
If a woman would give it all, be it tangible or not, would she ever be loved by a man? If a woman would have herself confined within the walls of what a man dictates, would she ever be respected or at least treated fairly? If a woman would fully submit herself to the wills of a man, would she possibly get the amount of love that she deserves to have? If a woman would give up the essence of womanhood, and face a whole new role, something close to slavery, would a man show her how valuable she is?? If a woman would disregard herself and shift her attention to the man she truly loves, would she ever get something to compensate with the lack of self-fulfillment? If a woman would give a love that’s everlasting, would she get the same ounce of love that she gave? Would it rain love for her? Or would she just be showered by occasional drizzles of affection?