Just another “Could have been”

Our love story started out very wrong. Everything was wrong — the setting, the timing, the people involved, the anticipated outcome, the situation — it was a jungle of wrongness. And yet, we went in, holding nothing but each other’s hands. Frail, but we thought was enough.

However, the other side of the story convinced us that maybe, it’s not really wrong. Maybe it has just been tagged “wrong” because majority of the people do not agree with it, or because it’s against the norms of the society. But we couldn’t care less about the people, nor about the norms of the society. Who dictates the right things, anyway? And so we went on. We were never afraid to go on.

Now this is how we were.

The moment we open our eyes from whether a nap or a deep sleep, there is a slight hesitation of whether we’ll go back to sleep and continue our dreams of each other, or we’ll wake up and embrace the sweetest reality of having each other. Choosing the former ends us up wanting each other even more. Picking up the latter ends us up with the same thing. We’re stuck. We both love being stuck with each other like that. And we could have been stuck with each other like that forever.

We were friends. I tell him he’s stupid if he was. He’ll tell me I’m an idiot if I was. When I fail, he cheers me up. I do the same thing with him. We play games. We draw. We make faces. We laugh like there’s no tomorrow. We finish each other’s sentences. We race to the top of the stairs, and when we do that, I always win because he always lets me. But, at the same time, we were lovers. Our love for each other was something no man could ever doubt. We were deeply in love — so deep, Bonnie and Clyde would be jealous. We were both friends and lovers. And we could have been friends and lovers forever.

He’s my angel. Likewise, I am his angel. We were each other’s angels. And we could have been each others angels forever.

But the trigger has been pulled, and one night, we came up with a mutual decision that maybe we should just set our love aside and just focus on each other’s lives — SEPARATELY. It’s tough. But we were in a jungle of uncertainty, right? We can either find each other’s way out and be able to make it out bruised, or we can stay inside and die. I remember he once told me, “Sometimes, you don’t need to have a brain. You just need to have the heart for it.” Well, maybe that’s the reason why even though we’re both smart enough, still, we were unable to come up with a third option — and that is to stay inside the jungle and try our best to survive together.

So that’s the end of our love story. I waved goodbye. And though he has all the powers in the world to stop me from leaving, he never did.