Writings

I gave birth to a baby boy. Or at least I dreamt that I did. It was the evening, and I was crouched by the hearth. He was there with an ache in my bones. I felt it. Fast-forward within the white walls of the hospital. I drowsily peeked through the nursery's glass wall (One is not allowed to wander after giving birth; but dreams are surreal...) There laid those tiny porcelain fingers and delicate whorls of tiny ears. He was crafted by the tiny chisels of white-winged angels. I held him, a small wrinkly thing in my hand — ...
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Under the weight of numbed fingers I lay, unconvincingly asleep, as the world peers through my bedroom window. I look up through shadow-filled lashes. The pseudo-heroes, the deceived children, the tormented matchbox lovers who got caught in the undertow of life. My mind wanders and words leak out of my skull, seeping like black tar; they burn my skin like the sting of elusive flames. - “The sky grew darker, painted blue on blue, one stroke at a time, into deeper and deeper shades of night.” ― Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance - There is a gaping void that only ...
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Sometimes, I think of all the people I've lost or grew apart from and wonder what they would think if they saw me or knew me now, given how much time has passed and how much things have changed. Would we still be friends? Would we argue over the same things? Would we be kinder, at the very least? Then I remember that I lost those people for a reason. There's a masochistic (probably narcissistic) urge to want them back in my life perhaps just to be able to say "Look, I’m better now. Look, I didn't need you with ...
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Find arms that will raise you up from your most helpless plights and hold you at your frailest. Find eyes that will behold your beauty, even at your ugliest. Find a heart that will love you unquestioningly, even at your most repulsive. Because that is the only love that really matters. And when they aren't someone else's, they need to be your own — and that's the hardest part ...
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You’ve heard it many times. But how do you really say goodbye to someone you love? There seems to be more pain in admitting it’s no use holding on... but what about those romantic letters and gifts? What about the dreams you said you’d both achieve together someday, and the promise to keep trying when things don't work out? Sadly, not all things work out. There comes a time when life will tell us that this chapter has ended and it's time to move on to the next. And you have to. All you have to do is to learn ...
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Sorry is a word that means nothing anymore, like a Frisbee being tossed around on a summer day. It's just another word that has entered into disuse. We are living in a world where some things hold little to no value. People are outright liars. Friends are outright liars. Camaraderie is too fickle a thing to fall into. We keep on bending over backwards, forcibly trying to gain each other's trust. We keep on grasping for something that we could never get, like an unreachable chalet up the mountain. We move heaven and earth for something that wasn't really there ...
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